WHEN THE HAMMER FALLS...

Pastor Graeme Weber, 083 777 0448 It was a sunny day, the same as any other day in Port Elizabeth. It was 1965, and I was sitting on the steps of the courthouse, a mere 5 years old. Inside the courthouse a judge was deciding whether to grant my father and mother the divorce they were seeking. The hammer of the judge came crashing down, and my life was changed in that instant. The next day a large photo was in the newspaper, with me sitting on the courthouse steps, alone in the sun, with a letter that said I was looking for a new father, a new mother, and a new home. My testimony is much like many other lives in the world. My mother at that moment became a single parent. She worked hard to give us (I also had a little sister, 3 years old) a life. She would wake up at 03:00 every morning and walk to the train station in Uitenhage, nearly 5 kilometres from where we lived, travelled to Port Elizabeth, walked a further 3 kilometres to work, and back again in the nights, summer and winter. She lived with a man her whole life. He died after 25 years of living with us. In some ways, he provided for us, but he was also an abuser. Our life was one of suspicion, fear, poverty, abuse and loneliness. My grandfather, who was an alcoholic, brought about a host of family trouble, drunkenness, and heartache. But in a way he was a dear, lost soul. He did his share in the 2nd World War, serving on the HMS Cumberland in the Royal Navy. Who knows what experiences might have plagued him. All I know is that I spent hundreds of nights waiting outside bars with my granny in the car. During those years I developed asthma, and had it so severe that if I ran between two lamp-posts in a street, I would end up in hospital in an oxygen tent. Countless times I was carried in the arms of my mother running into hospital because I could not breathe. At the age of about ten I was lying in a single bed in 39 Maitland Street, Uitenhage. Sitting next to me was the doctor, my mother, and my grandpa. In that room I died. I clearly remember leaving my body and hovering close to the ceiling of the room. My mother was crying, the doctor was shaking his head, and my grand-father was next to my mom. The doctor took a needle and syringe and stuck it into my chest. I don't know what happened, but this brought me back to life. For the rest of my grandfather's life, he used to always joke, and say to me, "My boy, you were tickets". I couldn't do sport, and my life was very limited. At the age of 12, my own father took me to his church, where people prayed for me and I was healed by God. My mom's home was never a home of hugs, or "I love you's". It was one of "You're just like your stupid father", hidings, and "Carry on, you will bump your head." My great grandmother also lived with us. She had an intense hatred of men, and all boys. I one day asked her, "What would you do if you had sons?" She replied, "I would have drowned them." Because of her hatred of boys, I got a hiding most nights of my life because of lies conjured up by her. She would always say that I had been unwilling to help with chores. Because of this trauma and confusion, something was building up inside of me. I was sent to boarding school in Graaff-Reinet, from standard 7 to matric. I had a good time with sport and girls. Academics was a "must do". In matric something happened to me. A boy insulted my girlfriend, and something broke inside of me. I assaulted him badly, and swore to myself that no one would push me around ever again. Straight after matric, I ran away from home, and joined the military for four years. I had a strong military career, but I also started to drink. Drinking led to fighting, nightclubs and women. I eventually ended up smoking dagga. I went to an artillery school, then to para-troopers, got my wings, joined 1 Recce in Durban, did numerous military projects and border tours, and eventually ending in Pretoria looking after General Malan and General Viljoen, with 30 troops. I spent my days working, and my nights and weekends drinking, fighting, riding bike, smoking dagga, chasing girls. My life was out of control, and I was paying a price for my intense sinning. When I fell asleep at night, I was the loneliest and emotionally most devastated, confused person I knew. My mind and spirit was in turmoil. I then left the SANDF, went to Port Elizabeth, found a job in Uitenhage which I promptly lost for threatening to kill my boss. I joined a technical college, which I left because of a lack of interest. During this time I would drink and party non-stop. The traffic police would regularly chase me up and down the streets of Uitenhage, me on my 1100cc Katana Bike, them in their cars. Thankfully, they never caught me. The bank eventually repossessed my bike. My sister and her husband used to ride the streets in the nights, looking for me, convinced that I had killed myself on the bike. They often found me lying in the street, with my bike next to me. She would kneel next to me crying and saying, "I thought you were dead". You know, when a child is exposed to abuse, alchohol, and home trouble, most people don't realize that the child will grow up to be a man. I had grown into a man. Wild, but a strong man. I went drinking with my mother's boyfriend. We got drunk together on Old Brown Sherry. One night we went home and my girlfriend and I had a big fight. I lost it and started to tear my mother's place apart. The boyfriend grabbed me. I hit him very hard and my mother screamed, "You've killed him." I then gave him a few kicks. Thankfully he survived. The end of this saga was that I left Port Elizabeth on an aeroplane to Johannesburg with only a suit, a toothbrush, and R10.00 in my suit pocket. Eventually I got a job in Dunnottar, near Springs and bought a 500cc Honda Thumper. I drank, smoked more dagga, caused trouble, got fired. I then got a job as a security officer, looking after canned food. The work was mind-numbing at that stage, and God and Christianity was far from my mind. Little did I know that Jesus Christ had an appointment with me. Then things started to happen… I went to work, the same as before. Hated the work. I then prayed a prayer while walking down the aisles of the shop I was working for. I said, "God, get me out of this place". The next day I was fired. I don't know why to this day. During that week, I borrowed my friend's car, and the car was stolen. My friend was not happy at all. Thankfully they got the car back, minus the battery. That week I went drinking at the Riebeeck Hotel in Springs. It ended in a massive fight, with me being thrown behind bars for the night. That same week I was lying on my bed during daytime. The strangest thing happened. Satan appeared to me and said, "If you worship me, I will make you a rich man". To which I said, "That will never happen". The morning after I was released from prison, I went to the Springs Post Office, called my mother and asked her if I could visit her for a few weeks. She replied, "You can come down if you really must, but I don't need trouble in my life". I put the phone on the hook and walked away. A very clear voice said to me, "If even your own mother does not want you, then there must be something very wrong with you". At that very instant, I somehow was outside my body, looking down at myself. What I saw shocked me. In the street, in broad daylight, next to the Springs Post Office, I cried out, "My God, there is nothing inside of me, no heart, no blood, no ribcage, no feeling. Just a great emptiness and darkness". It was at that moment I fully realized that I was totally lost, without any hope. The darkness and emptiness I saw was very intense, and it shook me completely. I was 24 years old. My girlfriend invited me to church the next Sunday. I was sitting in church for the first time in nearly 12 years. The Pastor gave an altar call. I remember sitting there thinking, "I can't continue to live like this." I went forward, and said that I wanted to give my heart to Christ. An elderly gentleman took me to the back of the church, and led me to Christ. In an instant, the peace and joy of God came flooding into my life. I had not felt peace, love or any joy for many, many years. Relief flooded my life. I was now a Christian. Confused, but a born-again Christian. My father then said I should come and live with him and his family. He was also serving the Lord Jesus at that stage, and had spent many years praying for my salvation. I was penniless, and went to live with him. I then went to the Faith Home for a further four years, where I spent all my energy seeking the Face of God. The story of what God has done is another story, and would fill an entire book. Today, I have been serving the Lord Jesus Christ for 25 years, and He has blessed me in abundance. I have 1000's of testimonies of the goodness of God. Thankfully, my family all serve the Lord. Today, I minister God's Word. I've travelled to 14 countries to spread the Gospel. We have a Ministry that has 22 Church Assemblies, a 2 500- seater Jesus Tent Ministry, and "One Life" Broadcasting Network that delivers the Gospel via Radio and TV to 2 million people weekly. God has also raised me up in business, and I now have 500 people working for me. We are currently planting a church in the USA. In my Ministry, I'm supported by my wife Helene and 4 children. To God be the glory! Why would I render this testimony? It is firstly to give GOD all the glory, and secondly to hopefully reach out to those who are struggling with similar issues. There is still a chance for your son or daughter who might be struggling at this very moment, as well as for yourself. No matter how bad things are, Jesus saves from the guttermost to the uttermost. CHRIST IS THE ANSWER TO SOUTH AFRICA! He is the only One who can rid South Africa of the blood debt that is lying on this country's soil. God Bless you! You can contact me at 083 777 0448 or visit my Ministry Website at www.graemeweber.org